What I Want To Be When I Grow Up...

So, it has been way too long and I apologize for all two of you who read my blog. :) Anyways, there are many things I want to blog about right now but I will chose this one: What I Want to be When I Grow Up

The quick answer: I don't know. So if you were hoping to read this and find out what it is then stop reading because it will still be I don't know. Although I would love it if you bare/bear??? with me and read the whole post.

I chose to blog about this because I was sitting with my college professor today and she mentioned there are so many things she wants to do and she needs to just do them. I thought to myself "Hey, there a lot of things I want to do...just do them!" So, I thought about it on my drive home and there are many things I would like to do with my life....

Is it so wrong that as I sit watching my favorite "reality" TV show I think to myself "that's what I want to do." Well, once you find out that its The Real Housewives of Atlanta you would probably look at me, roll your eyes, and tell me "Kim, that will never happen and you don't really want to do that or be that."
Well, I would reply to you this way: "Of course I do! I want to marry a gorgeous NFL player, live in a big beautiful house in Atlanta, be able to buy whatever I want whenever I want, and make up some random business or charity or clothing line to make a little money (which I don't need) on the side. I would love to be invited to all the greatest parties and meet celebrities...ie Ne-Yo who happens to reside near the ATL. Do I wish that my husband played for the Bears? Probably but I would never want to live in Chicago. Any other questions?"
Now you are probably sitting there laughing at me or maybe if you know me at all you are not the least bit surprised.

This future is probably unattainable for two reasons. One: it would require me to get married. Two: it would require me to be in a relationship that could lead to marraige. Now, I do not say this looking for anyone to tell me otherwise. I say this as a transition into the new motto have taken up which is currently my facebook status that says: "Never be afraid to stand your ground...no matter how loney it gets or how much it hurts."

Now it is unfortunate that a boy lead me to this conclusion but let me tell you I have never felt more free right now. I wanted to prove to everyone so bad that I could do it. I could be in a relationship. One that lasts longer than a week. Well, this one made it just 3 days shy of 2 months. Here was the problem: I can't stand jealousy and double standards. I finally had to tell him it was over because he was treating me like I had just killed someone all because someone I had been together with at one point rode in my car to and from home. Nothing at all happened obviously and I kept him updated before during and after the car ride.
Once I arrived home on Tuesday he was so mad at me that he told me he didn't want to see me and I better not show up at his birthday celebration which happened to be at my place of business. Well, way to tell me that while I'm in the parking lot. The night ended up fine and he got over the fact I was there but continued to bring up the subject all night. Last night he decided he would go out with the guys and not talk to me all night. Bad move. See, I don't do double standards well....or really at all. So I finally did what was best for me and ended it. I had to stand up for myself although I really care about him, a lot. I'll be honest I was starting to fall in love with him. Yes, friends I just used the "L" word. Truth is, he said it to me a few weeks ago but I didn't say it back. First it was over text then he said it on the phone. So breaking it off was hard and painful but I stood up for myself. There is something so satisfying and right with that which has made it easier. I woke up this morning in a great mood and ready to start my day and live my life. And I must say today I have been more alive than I have been in a while....with the exception of this past weekend, of course. :)

Well, I must go meet my roommate for dinner now. But more later.

And remember: Never be afraid to stand your ground....no matter how lonely it gets or how much it hurts!